With just one night in Taupo, today was another travel day.

Bee and Graeme offer bread and spreads for guests to have a light breakfast, and I took advantage of the opportunity to try Marmite for the first time. It’s a salty brown paste that is kind of like soy sauce in spreadable form? With cheese on top, it’s a pretty tasty savory version of toast.

Bee and Graeme have only been hosting for four months and have been nearly booked solid since, so they shared some guest stories. Bee brought up the Jehovah’s Witness pamphlets in my room as a means of sharing a story about an hour-long discussion/debate she had with a guest who is a missionary. Different interpretations of the Bible and such. I was prepared to fend off any questions about my beliefs and was relieved when they didn’t come.

I packed up, and Bee said she would take me to a breakfast place with a view of the lake where I would have two hours before boarding my bus. So nice to have rides from hosts with my bags!

Graeme was working on the deck, and I went out to say goodbye and thank you. He asked me, I guess because I work for Airbnb, what they should do if they receive an inquiry from a gay male couple. He would want to put them in the room with the twin beds, and I replied that they’re going to want to stay in the queen bed together. He then said he’d prefer to take them out back and shoot them.

I dismissed the racist comment he made yesterday when we were up at the Dam — he characterized Asians and Indians as rip-off artists — as the backward mentality of a 75-year-old man. I understand it is the responsibility of the privileged to speak up for the oppressed, and I’m learning how to do that back home. I’m an American in New Zealand. Racism is racism, but it didn’t feel like my place to challenge this man on his beliefs. Which feels like a cop-out as I write this.

The racist comment was a hurtful generalization. The anti-gay comment this morning was hateful, and I said, “Come on now. Love is love. People love who they love, whomever they may be.” He grunted and changed the subject. That was all I had in me on my way out the door.

In the hours since I left, I have really been struggling to reconcile Bee and Graeme’s generous hospitality with Graeme’s bigotry and how to confront it. I have been really heartened by the friendly spirit of the people of New Zealand, and I thought I was getting the same here, until I wasn’t.

I decided that my public Airbnb review would reflect both the unapproved change in rooms and how much I appreciated the car rides I received. Privately, I emphasized to Bee and Graeme the importance of welcoming *everyone* from the global community to which they’d opened their home. I hope they give my feedback some consideration.